Concept of self
Self means the total of a person's conscious experiences, ideas, thoughts and feelings about himself or herself.
- Personal identity: features that make you different from others: name, traits, abilities, beliefs.
- Social identity: features that link you to groups: religion, region, school, family.
Self as subject and object
The self is the knower (subject: "I think") and also the known (object: "I think about myself").
Kinds of self
- Personal self: focuses on me: my freedom, my goals.
- Social (familial) self: focuses on cooperation, sharing and sacrifice for others.
- Relational self: self in close relationships, like with parents or friends.
The self grows as a child interacts with parents, friends and teachers.
Cognitive aspects of self: self-concept and self-esteem
Self-concept is the way we see ourselves: our ideas about our abilities and qualities. It may be positive or negative.
Self-esteem is the value we place on ourselves. It is judged in areas: academic (studies), social (friends), physical (looks, sports) and family. By about age 6-7, children already rate themselves in these areas; later these join into a general self-esteem.
- High self-esteem goes with confidence, good results and good friendships.
- Low self-esteem may go with anxiety, sadness and poor results.
- Warm, supportive parenting helps high self-esteem.
Behavioural aspects: self-efficacy and self-regulation
Self-efficacy (Albert Bandura) is a person's belief that he or she can succeed at a task. High self-efficacy makes us try harder and not give up. It grows with small successes and good role models.
Self-regulation is the ability to organise and watch our own behaviour. Self-control means delaying a pleasure now for a bigger goal later (delay of gratification).
Techniques of self-control
- Observation of own behaviour: note what you do and when.
- Self-instruction: tell yourself what to do ("First finish the chapter").
- Self-reinforcement: reward yourself after a goal is met.
Culture and self
Culture decides where the self ends and others begin.
- Indian view: the border between self and others is flexible. The self can widen to include family, community and even the whole world. It is more collective.
- Western view: the border is firm. The self is separate from others and nature. It is more individualistic.
So in India, many people take decisions with family; in many Western societies, people decide more on their own. Neither is better; they are different ways of living.
Try it at home
Write 10 sentences that begin with "I am ...". Mark each one P (personal: a trait or liking) or S (social: a group or role). Count them. Many Indian students write more S sentences than students in more individualistic cultures.
Key formulas and definitions
- Self: all our ideas, thoughts and feelings about ourselves
- Personal identity (unique) vs social identity (groups)
- Self as subject (knower) and object (known)
- Kinds: personal, social, relational self
- Self-concept = how I see myself; self-esteem = how I value myself
- Self-efficacy = belief "I can" (Bandura)
- Self-control techniques: observe, self-instruct, self-reinforce
- Indian self: flexible border; Western self: firm border
Worked examples
1. Zoya says, "I am honest and I love painting." Is this personal or social identity?
Personal identity. Honesty and love of painting are her own unique features, not group memberships.
2. Karan fails once but says, "I can learn this if I practise." Which idea?
High self-efficacy: a belief in his ability to succeed at the task.
3. Nidhi keeps her phone in another room, tells herself "one topic first", and plays a game after finishing. Name the techniques.
Self-observation/planning, self-instruction ("one topic first") and self-reinforcement (the game as a reward).
4. Ramesh gives up a job abroad to care for his parents because he feels they are part of him. Which cultural view of self?
The Indian (collective) view, where the self's border is flexible and includes the family.
Common mistakes
- Mixing self-concept and self-esteem. Self-concept is the picture; self-esteem is the value placed on it.
- Thinking self-efficacy means real ability. It is the belief in one's ability.
- Calling social identity the same as personality. Social identity is about the groups we belong to.
- Saying one culture's self is right and the other wrong. They are different, not better or worse.