What is non-verbal communication?
Verbal communication is the words we speak or write. Non-verbal communication is every other way we send messages: facial expressions, eye contact, posture, gestures, touch, how close we stand, and even our tone of voice (called paralanguage).
Non-verbal signals often show feelings more honestly than words. If someone says "I'm fine" with a sad face and slumped shoulders, we usually believe the body.
Eye contact, body language and personal space
Eye contact
- Regulates the flow of talk: speakers look away while speaking and look back when they finish, which hands the turn over.
- Shows interest and attraction: we look longer at people we like, and our pupils widen.
- Can signal threat: a long, hard stare can feel hostile.
Body language
- Open posture: arms and legs uncrossed. Seen as relaxed and accepting.
- Closed posture: arms folded or legs crossed. Can look defensive or bored.
- Postural echo: copying the other person's posture. It shows rapport (getting on well).
- Touch: can comfort or show status; higher-status people tend to start touch.
Personal space
Personal space is the invisible area around us that we feel is ours. One common model has four zones:
| Zone | Distance | Who |
|---|---|---|
| Intimate | 0 to 0.45 m | Family, partners |
| Personal | 0.45 to 1.2 m | Friends |
| Social | 1.2 to 3.6 m | Strangers, work |
| Public | over 3.6 m | Speeches, audiences |
Space needs change with culture (people in some cultures stand closer), status (bigger gaps between boss and worker) and gender (on average, women sit closer to each other than men do).
Darwin's evolutionary view
Charles Darwin argued that non-verbal behaviour is evolved and adaptive. Signals that helped animals and early humans survive were passed on.
- Showing teeth warns others to back off, which avoids a costly fight.
- Fear faces (wide eyes) let in more light and warn the group of danger.
- Friendly signals, such as a smile, help form bonds that improve survival.
Because they are evolved, Darwin expected them to be innate and universal, the same in all people.
Innate or learned? The evidence
Evidence it is innate
- Babies born blind smile and show other basic expressions, though they have never seen a face.
- Newborns copy adult faces, such as sticking out the tongue, within days of birth.
- Six basic emotions (happy, sad, angry, afraid, surprised, disgusted) are recognised across very different cultures.
Evidence it is learned
- Gestures differ: a thumbs-up, a nod or a head wobble means different things in different places.
- Personal space differs across cultures.
- People from some East Asian cultures focus more on the eyes to read emotion, while many Western viewers focus more on the mouth.
Conclusion: basic facial expressions seem largely innate, while gestures, rules about eye contact and personal space are shaped by learning and culture.
Try it
In the free play, slide the stranger from 6 m to 0.3 m and note where you would feel uneasy. At home, watch a TV show on mute for two minutes. Can you tell how each person feels just from eyes, posture and distance? Write down three clues.
Key formulas and definitions
- Verbal = words · Non-verbal = face, eyes, posture, gesture, touch, distance, tone
- Eye contact: interest, turn-taking, attraction (pupils widen), threat (staring)
- Body language: open vs closed posture · postural echo · touch
- Zones: intimate ≤ 0.45 m · personal ≤ 1.2 m · social ≤ 3.6 m · public > 3.6 m
- Darwin: evolved, adaptive, innate · Evidence: blind babies smile (innate), gestures differ (learned)
Worked examples
1. In a debate, a student folds her arms and leans back while her opponent speaks. What might this signal?
A closed posture, which can signal disagreement or being defensive. It is a clue, not proof: she might also just be cold.
2. A stranger on an empty bench sits 30 cm from you. How do you probably feel and why?
Uncomfortable. 30 cm is inside the intimate zone (under 0.45 m), which we keep for close family. A stranger belongs in the social zone.
3. Give one piece of evidence that smiling is innate and one that a gesture is learned.
Innate: babies born blind still smile, though they have never seen a smile. Learned: a thumbs-up is friendly in some countries but rude in others, so its meaning must be learned.
Common mistakes
- Saying non-verbal communication is only body language. It also includes eye contact, touch, distance and tone.
- Treating one signal as proof. Crossed arms may just mean someone is cold; read clusters of signals.
- Mixing up zones: personal space for friends is up to 1.2 m, not the intimate zone.
- Saying all non-verbal behaviour is innate. Gestures and space rules are learned and differ by culture.