Consent in practice
Consent means agreeing to something by choice, with the freedom and ability to make that choice.
- It must be a clear yes. Silence, a shrug or 'maybe' is not a yes.
- It must be free. Pressure, threats, guilt or gifts in return are not free choice.
- It can be taken back at any time, even halfway through.
- It is specific. Yes to one thing is not yes to everything, and yes last time is not yes now.
- A person who is drunk, high, asleep or under the legal age of consent cannot give consent. The legal age differs between countries.
Consent applies online too: never share or ask for intimate images. Sharing images of anyone under 18 is a crime in most countries.
If something happened without consent, it is not your fault. Tell a trusted adult or contact a helpline.
Contraception choices
Contraception means ways to prevent pregnancy. Each method works in a different way.
- Barrier methods (male and female condoms) stop sperm reaching an egg. They are the only methods that also protect against STIs.
- Hormonal methods (pill, patch, injection, implant) stop an egg being released or block sperm with thicker mucus.
- IUD (coil): a small device placed in the uterus by a nurse or doctor; it lasts 5โ10 years.
- Emergency contraception: a pill taken soon after unprotected sex (works best within 72 hours, some up to 5 days). It is not for regular use.
How well do they work?
In real life people forget pills or use condoms wrongly, so 'typical use' figures matter. Out of 100 users in a year, about 85 get pregnant with no method, about 13 with condoms, about 7 with the pill, about 4 with the injection and fewer than 1 with an implant or IUD.
Many people use two methods: a condom for STIs plus another method for pregnancy.
Sexually transmitted infections (STIs)
An STI is an infection passed from one person to another during sexual contact. Some are caused by bacteria (chlamydia, gonorrhoea, syphilis) and can be cured with antibiotics. Some are caused by viruses (HIV, herpes, HPV, hepatitis B); these can be controlled with medicine, and some can be prevented with vaccines (HPV, hepatitis B).
Many have no symptoms
A person can look and feel fine and still pass an STI on. Possible signs include pain when urinating, unusual discharge, sores or itching. The only way to know is a test, which is quick, private and often free.
Lowering the risk
- Use a condom every time.
- Get tested, and both partners test before stopping condoms.
- Get vaccinated against HPV and hepatitis B.
- Finish all treatment, and tell partners so they can be tested.
STIs are not spread by hugging, sharing cups or toilet seats.
Pregnancy facts and options
Pregnancy starts when a sperm fertilises an egg and the tiny embryo settles in the lining of the uterus. It can happen the first time someone has sex, and at any time in the cycle.
- The first sign is often a missed period. Others are feeling sick, tiredness and sore breasts.
- A pregnancy test checks urine for a hormone (hCG). It is reliable from the day a period is missed. A doctor or clinic can confirm it.
- A full pregnancy lasts about 40 weeks. Early check-ups and a first scan (around 12 weeks) keep mother and baby healthy.
Options
A pregnant person has three main options: continuing and parenting, continuing and adoption, or abortion (ending the pregnancy with medical help). Laws about abortion are different in every country. It is a personal decision, and confidential advice is available from doctors, nurses and sexual health services.
Key formulas and definitions
- Consent: clear + free + can be withdrawn + specific + legal age
- Typical use, pregnancies per 100 users per year: none ~85, condom ~13, pill ~7, injection ~4, implant/IUD <1
- Only condoms protect against both pregnancy and STIs
- Bacterial STIs (chlamydia, gonorrhoea, syphilis): curable with antibiotics
- Viral STIs (HIV, herpes, HPV, hepatitis B): controllable; vaccines for HPV and hepatitis B
- Pregnancy: about 40 weeks; test from the day of a missed period
Worked examples
1. Alex said yes to kissing at a party, then later says 'I want to stop'. Is there still consent?
No. Consent can be withdrawn at any time. Once Alex says stop, the other person must stop.
2. A couple uses the pill. Are they protected from STIs?
No. The pill only prevents pregnancy. Only condoms also lower the risk of STIs, so many people use both.
3. Sam feels completely fine. Can Sam still have an STI?
Yes. Many STIs, such as chlamydia, often cause no symptoms. A test is the only way to know.
Common mistakes
- Thinking silence or not saying no means yes. Consent must be a clear, free yes.
- Believing you cannot get pregnant the first time. You can.
- Thinking the pill protects against STIs. Only condoms help with both.
- Thinking you can tell if someone has an STI by looking. Many have no symptoms.